There’s this guy I like, he’s cute and quiet a bit macho, but it’s his childlike aura that I like. Which made him sound and look innocent in the way he acts and talks.
We met for a first date in the past month but didn’t talk since then, since he started flirting and didn’t quiet like it. So it was silence radio from my side for a whole month,
Then I found out he unfriended me on social media, because I once told him his views on women are pretty retarded, but that’s not the issue.
We talked again and had quiet a lot of fun, and we decided to meet again and give it another shot; but he kept insisting to meet at his house.
and when I started saying no, I need to meet you in a public place, he showed me screenshots of girls begging to meet him at his house but he refused them all.
and when I said it’s fishy to meet at your house, he then revealed to me he’s pretty famous and shown me all the pictures of him in social events and how people snapped pics of him without his consent etc and even videos of him talking in interviews for tv.
But even then I refused and he got pissed and said then let’s never meet.
Did I do good ?
A part of me is saying I did the right thing since his anger was not really what I needed, but I also dunno if he really liked me or he just wanted something more
(and he actually admitted saying something more might happen and we should enjoy it as adults)
and that’s actually why I don’t want to be alone in some guy’s house and be touched or something. Did I do right or did I miss a shot with a hot guy I liked.
I feel really silly asking this question, but I don't have much dating experience. My first boyfriend was the first man I ever dated, we were together for five years and we had met in school. When a man asks you to come over to his place does it always mean he wants to have sex?
I had a date with someone I met from Tinder a couple months ago. On our 2nd date he invited me over and I clearly told him I didn't want to have sex if I came over and I didn't want to sleep over. I also told him on our first date that I'm not the kind of woman to sleep with a man early in the dating stages. While I was at his place we had dinner and then we watched a movie together and during the movie we kissed each other and he had his hands on me affectionately. I paused while we kissed to remind him I didn't want to have sex. As he explored with his hands I kept stopping his hands from going to certain places and he tried to sweet talk me to being okay with it, which I still said no. He got more aggressive and held me down to touch me inappropriately and even though I told him many times to stop and I struggled to get out of his grip he just treated it like a game. It really angered me that he didn't stop even the first time I told him and he took advantage of me. I told him to take me home after and he did. His only apology was through a text the next morning saying, "sorry if I bothered you." His apology was pathetic. I told him clearly what he did was wrong and I didn't like anything he did to me and felt utterly disrespected, that I never want to go to his place or trusted to be alone with him. I told him that him saying he wants to respect me at date one, did not show from how he treated me. And even though he said he didn't want something casual, it really felt that way with him on date 2. When I told him the things above about how disrespected I felt and he should have been more honest about what he was looking for so I didn't have to involve myself with him, he told me, "You're judgmental... Everyone has sex. Your like a 14 year old girl." I took a break from online dating after that experience.
Then I met a man 4 years older than me and we danced together at this more mature club. It wasn't one of those clubs where girls dressed skimpy, people were more put together. He bought me a drink and we talked. We drank a little and felt sober throughout the night. We had some great chemistry so when he asked for my number I gave it to him. Then he asked if I wanted to see a movie with him nearby and I decided to go with the flow with how nice the evening was going and I wanted to get to know him better. So we go to his car and he's a gentleman the way he carried himself with me. While were driving I realize we probably passed by many theaters so I asked him where we were going? And he told me we were going to his place. I told him how I misunderstood what he said and clarified I was not going to have sex with him or sleep over at his place. And he said, "That's fine. We don't have to. Let's just go with flow and we will take care of each other." He also took it too far with the touching and where his hands were going and I communicated and pushed his hands away. I tried not to be bitchy sounding because I didn't know how to navigate these situations. I ended our night asking to be taken back to where my car was and he did. This guy was more mature than the other guy, but he did the same thing as the other guy. He agreed and respected what I wanted with words, but acted differently while feeling heated with desire.
TLDR Communicating firmly with "stop" and "no," and rejecting advances with my body didn't work. Why do some men think this is okay? If I'm reminding and telling the guy I don't want this right now and I want them to stop, how come they don't listen? Both times, the guy made me feel bad that I didn't want sex: They acted in persuasion saying what everyone else does, tried to sweet talk me to not be resistant into having sex, and they all said negative things about me because I didn't I didn't want to have sex with them so early in time. I honestly felt like them guilt tripping me was shitty and manipulative. To me its really clear they crossed the lines with me and didn't honor what I wanted. They couldn't just enjoy their time with me going slowly and waiting for sex in later dates. Should I just assume every time I get asked over to a man's place they want sex? I felt like I was being open minded to going over to their place and showing I had some level of trust they would respect my boundaries and could still enjoy their time with me. Part of me is really scared to date. I have no idea how to date someone starting as strangers and actually find someone who isn't going to give me the same awful experiences. I don't feel like I'm bad at seeing good qualities and I'm careful about who I give my number to. These men didn't seem like red flags in the beginning so how do I protect myself better? I almost feel like I should stop dating completely, but then it will be hard finding love. It's hard to meet men as an adult. Please be sensitive with your responses. I'm still sensitive to what happened and I feel vulnerable posting this. I don't have much emotional support in my life right now. Thank you in advance.